Well.. the struggle is real I suppose..
I am always writing about happy things on my blog, because it is one of the things that I don't want to "infect" with negativity. Sometimes though, negativity and chaos is all you can see..
I heard and read about how difficult it is to find a job in any one of the Mediterranean countries but, to be honest, if you don't face it yourself you will never understand how it feels.. After having studied and having done everything you could do to find the position of your dreams, having no job at all, having to run after people and having to lower your expectations and what you really deserve (or at least you think you deserve) is extremely hard and nervewracking.. Even more when you are trying to find a job in a country, where you cannot speak your native language.. Having no job can really drive you crazy.. Sometimes I think I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown..
I thank God I have people that can still "sponsor" me until I start making my own money, but then I feel worse, because they could use that money for themselves.. Someone might ask me, "Why don't you go to another country where you could find a job more easily?".. Well, you think I have not already thought of that solution?! But if I leave, all the money and the time I've already spent in order to have all the papers right, to have a place to live here and in general, all the things I did to find a job here will be just wasted..
However this is not what hurts me the most.. The truth is that I don't want to leave back the people that I love.. People that I did everything to, eventually, live with in the same country.. Nowadays, the hard thing is to be at the same country with all the people you love.. You can never know, where on earth they will find a job.. And I'm wondering.... Should I stay where I am, continuing with the job-seeking, probably wasting my time and my money or eventually settling for a job that I didn't study and I might hate, but at least being with the people I love, OR move out, go to a country where I will have a job, I will have professional development, success and money, but where I will be completely alone, unhappy and with noone to share all these with?
I know I am not the only one that has to decide between those two things.. And I know that eventually, I will have to choose the 2nd one, because without a job you do not even exist in this world..
It's just that this feels so unfair..
I'm sorry if I made you feel bad or if this post was not what you expected, but if you managed to read the whole composition I wrotev and you are currently in a similar or in exactly the same situation as mine, well definitely you are not alone..
I promise the next post will be happy as hell!
Love you! <3